Akiba Trooper

Tue 2006/01/31 17:32 JST
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So you've seen my trooping shenanigans at Akihabara and I thought I'd bring you some pics that you may have seen before including the ones you haven't.
I get asked from time to time "why do you do it?" which I think is an odd question but here goes...
Always wanted to be a trooper since I was a wee lad and since income from the affiliate sites are doing quite well, my wife permitted me to use some of that hard earned commission on some armor instead of spending it all on the bloody mortgage. But what's the point of having armor when you're only going to wear it at home?

OK, before I babble on, I've had many comments saying that the armor looks groovesome - but they haven't seen it close up - if they did they would have said "hmmm - looks like seven shades of bantha pudoo" - and we all know why...
Anyway - since these pics, I've been spending quite a bit of time upgrading the armor ever since I heard a couple say to themselves on the train "erm, it looks kinda rough close up...".
Pics of the armor upgrades coming soon together with "Trooper goes Skiing in Naeba" - watch this space - I think you may like...
By the way, these fab pictures were taken by Gonzague of Akihabara News and the lens used was actually the 18-200 Tamron.

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Akihabara - also known as Akiba - is the place you will normally want to visit as soon as you get off the plane - like many of the visitors to Tokyo do as you can see from many of these shots.

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Person next to Stormtrooper: "Could I try on your armor?"
Stormtrooper: "....."(points blaster)
Person: "sorry!"

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At the time, I left the tip of the Kenner blaster red - I originally thought that the chances of me being stopped by the boys in blue would be much less if the tip was red signaling that I was holding a toy gun - but to think about it - there's nothing preventing them from stopping me anyway - so I decided that I'd paint it black anyway ^^;

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The yellow building behind the tree is Akibakan where you can pick up a ton of backup devices for yer Mac or Windows machine.

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The main road in Akiba is closed off to cars on a Sunday but there's still this annoying road with annoying cars cutting through - I am sure they will seal that off too one day.

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This nice chap is pretending to be either a cat, kangaroo or boxer - take your pick.

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Stand still in one spot for more than 10 seconds and you will have a mob gathered around to either throw rotten maggoty potatoes at you or to take your mug shot.

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Regular readers will know that just about every geek in Japan likes girls dressed up in maid costumes - many business employ girls dressed up like this to hand out leaflets and what have you - I've only seen them in Akihabara though.

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While I like the armor - the helmet is still a bit too big and looks obviously large when having a pic taken face on - lean your head over a bit so that the side of your face is being taken instead - dont lean over too much or you will look like an imperial pansy.

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After a while, you will attract a mob of folks following you around which can be a bit scary because you can hardly see out the helmet - especially when you still have the rounded lens instead of the flat ones. I've spoken to some of the 501st members and they mentioned they would occasionally come across the type who would give you a whack behind the helmet. The worse thing I'v experienced so far was some geek grabbing me around the neck when having a photo taken. Always try to have somebody with you who can shout warnings to you like "look out for the guy with a bag of vomit!" or "baby with pocket knife below!" or whatever.

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This is the area immediately outside Akihabara station where you will find shops selling just about any type of electrical cord you could imagine. If you quickly need some cord to strangle your boss with - you will find it here.

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When you have been trooping for a while, you'll get the sudden craving for a melon bun - yep melon buns...

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Stormtrooper: "Show me your melon buns"
Shop assistants: "(with a wave of the hand) You dont need to see our melon buns"
Stormtrooper: "I insist (points blaster)"
Shop assistants: "OK you win!"

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"What is thy bidding my master"...
This is quite a nice Vader costume actually - forgot the name of the shop but you cant miss it when you arrive at Akiba. This shop also has a ton of second hand toys n figures which you may want to try out if you cant find what you seek anywhere else.

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You will find many video game stores all over the gaff - many of the games will be ones which are not out yet - so you can go along to try them out so that you can say - "phew - glad I didnt order that shite!"

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This is a store which sells what is commonly known in the west as Hentai games - its extremely popular over here and about 50% of my affiliate commission income is from the sales of these games. So what does my wife think? Well at first it was "look - all your other sites are doing well - you dont have to stoop this low!" But then she saw the first quarter earnings and said "Danny - go for it!"

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Many girls will start to giggle when they see you - they seem to like the armor. Or it could be because your bottom shows through the gaps?! Or could it be the cod piece?! Or maybe just plain "oh god look at this idiot."

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Did I mention you will hear giggling when trooping?

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White umbrellas... These disposable brollies cost about 100 yen and are available at all convenient stores just about everywhere. Some stores double the price when it rains...

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Mr Donut in the background - spending a ton of money on TV advertising but so far I've only managed to spot this store.

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The fellow in the front with the crouch of his trousers around his knees - this used to be "groovy" when I was back in ol Blighty 15 years ago - seems to be picking up in Japan...

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If you live in Japan, you wont have to bother with buying tissue because you will always bump into a person handing them out - clean ones of course and not the ones with brown smudges on them.

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This is turning out to be such a lousy guide of Akihabara - I cant remember the names of the shops! Anyway - this place sells vintage games of all sorts - looking for PC Engine games? - its here somewhere.

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Be a sport and do the "trooper-in-the-phone-booth" thang.

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Remember - Sunday is the day to get along to Akihabara if you want to see some cosplay going on - this lady is dressed up as a Disney fan?!

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More cosplay - this time a Gundam pilot - I could be mistaken - she could actually be dressed up as a bus attendant.

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I am sure I've mentioned it somewhere but Akiba is just fuuuulllll of toys n figures.

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Ask nicely and the folks at Asobit City let you go in and take photos. Many other places start to wave their hands yelling "DAME!" (pronounced "dar-mair" (kind of)) meaning "NOOOOO!"

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The outside of Asobit City has a cute lifesized Papermoon figure outside. If you want one its a measly 250,000 yen.

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Some folks who have just gotten off the plane to come to spend all their money on geek stuff.

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I mentioned that you can find people handing out tissues - if you pick one up by accident thinking that you was being handed a wad of money, you can always try to hand it back out to other people walking by.

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Trooper trying to mingle in the crowds...

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Akiba is the perfect place to come to if you want to meet aliens.

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Kids of this age probably dont know much about Starwars but they like you anyway.

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You are not cool if you dont show the "V" sign when having photos taken in Japan.

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A huge mountain of figurines in the middle of Asobit City's shop floor...

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Huge chunks of black body glove showing through behind the knees which is unavoidable - unless you plan not to walk in your armor.

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The Kenner Blaster looks really crap close up but 69,825 yen is a bit much for a better looking one.

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Did I mention something earlier on about maids? The one on my right was really a bundle of fun!

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The maids you see in Akihabara usually have some shady character watching over them incase they get attacked - the geeks over here can be quite out of it...
Anyway - be sure you ask before taking photos.

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Hmmm, I look flat chested in this shot - need to do something about my breasts. Off topic question - why on earth do men have nipples?

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Trooper starts to pant underneath the helmet.

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Trooper: "OK, I'm gonna need that one right there for market research purposes."

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From this angle you can see how uncool the helmet can look - it looks huuge!

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As most Stormtrooper armor owners will tell you - may look good on the outside - but underneath looks shite - velcro, glue marks and if you had something spicy the night before - brown skid marks.

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The store in the background is Ishimaru Denki - got all my household appliances there when I arrived in Japan many moons ago. Found a nice assistant and told him I was a poor student - got a 20,000 yen discount.

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A person cosplaying as a man-with-green-towel-around-neck-with-hands-in-air.

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The forearm armor kept falling down but has now been modded with elastic inside - but stills fall down.

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Kids of this age don't know you and say to dad "dad, I wanna pic with that thing."

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These appear to be covers of Doujin magazines - the traditional geek magazine usually full of anime type ladies doing not much apart from being naked - oo er.

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Paying for Maia Mizuki at Kotobukiya just outside Akihabara station.

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Trooper picks up a bottle of coke from the vending machines behind. Vending machines are all over the place in Japan - you can even find ones selling underpants (the type without the skid marks).

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You can just about catch a glimpse of the belt here. The belt that came with the suit was two LOUSY pieces of plastic which you had to SCREW on -wtf?! Imagine having to whip out a screw driver every time you wanted to take a pee. Erm, that ended up sounding kinda odd...

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Walked into an arbitrary building to adjust the helmet - dont take off the helmet in public or you will shatter the illusion and peoples dreams. What may also happen is that people say "I didn't know stormtroopers were so damn ugly."
Whenever you do try to go and hide for a while to adjust the armor - you will always get people following you - so be careful when to decide to adjust yer cod piece.

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I dont have enough trooping experience and dont know what to do yet about the wrinkling boots - any suggestions?

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I know, I know, "missing thermal detonator behind the belt - what gives dude?"
Still have to find a way to attach it so that it can be taken off easily.

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The kid on the left is dressed up as either Yoda, some sort of Pokemon or a civilian child holding a plastic bag with some cardboard ears - take your pick.

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I just love Akihabara - coming soon is my guide (with maps n stuff in English) to Akihabara - places that a visitor would normally not know about. Akiba is just filled with back alleys selling all sorts of groovesome geekery goodies.

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The armor seems to be popular with the ladies over here. I could be wrong and they actually want a picture with the blaster.

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