Japanese Law Enforcement

Following up from yesterday, a boy attempted to axe his dad to death by chopping at his head...
But despite the axe incidents of late, the crime rate in Japan is still relatively low - so low in fact that police stations like this one (called "Koban") don't have any human police stationed - just a unit inside called "Hi-tech Koban."

So this is what you do when you are being chased by a lunatic holding a banana between his armpits who is angry because you took pictures of him sleeping.

As soon as you open the door to the Koban, you will notice that there are no police to help pin down the lunatic to the floor. Instead the monitor to the Hi-tech Koban will come alive and you will be greeted by a video of this woman on screen. Now if they only dressed her up in a maid costume.

The lunatic chasing you is now right behind you - he followed you into the Koban and is ready to stab you with his banana. Tell him that its your first time using a Hi-tech Koban and that he should be patient while you work out how to use the machine.

On screen you are presented with the following options. [*] Map [*] Transportation instructions [*] Drivers License [*] Lost and Found [*] Disaster refuge spots (earthquake, floods etc) [*] Jobs [*] Press here if you are bothered [*] Directions to other police stations [*] WTF

You don't see any options that meet the situation that you are in so press the red button with "EMERGENCY" printed above it.
By now, the lunatic may get suspicious after a siren goes off but assure him that its just a high pitched sound to scare off mosquitoes.
Speak into the round black mic and let the person on the other end know that you don't fancy a banana stuck into your gut and that they should send a real human to help you. The end.

Whats law enforcement like in your region? Is your area policed by honest law enforcing robocops or by corrupt lazy police who abuse their power?

I remember being stopped by the police in Malaysia who claim that we were speeding. The office said to us that we would have to go to the station or pay a fine - we chose the 200 Malaysian dollar fine but when we tried to hand over the money, he handed us his note book and told us to slip the money in so that his police mates outside the car could not see...