You are not good enough

Plan B: Show the folks my car.

(ID #270674) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:05

reply to xAL's comment

And tell em' I love my gf more than my $100,000+ car.

(ID #270675) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:06

reply to xAL's comment

lol, but if you have a $100,000 car, you wouldn't have to have a plan b. since your income would have to be well over 2,600,000 yen. 

(ID #270871) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:09

reply to marvin's comment

Not if you spent most of my earnings on that car for several years! I'm not rich at all. Just a person that almost ruined everything for one thing.

(ID #270926) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:38

reply to xAL's comment

am at a loss of how to say this nicely, but don't date my daughter. LOL ^^; but seriously please don't get this in the wrong way, because I'd just like to help. but an expensive car is a really bad investment. it depreciates the moment you drive it off from the showroom. if you like reading try to read "Rich Dad Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki. it's one great book that teaches financial independence by making the right investments.

(ID #271015) Posted on 2008/08/20 14:15

reply to marvin's comment

i read that book. its an eye opener.

LOL. None taken dude. I'm not very good with money. Besides, I could be too old for your daughter.

(ID #271071) Posted on 2008/08/20 14:44

reply to xAL's comment

LOL. ^^

Just show your rich neighbours car and pretend it's yours?

(ID #271425) Posted on 2008/08/20 19:32

reply to Sakari's comment

My neighbor's a police officer, he and his wife got two expensive cars. I worked for my car so there is no way I'm gonna do something bogus like that.

Oops, I meant "I spent most of my...."

(ID #270928) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:39

reply to xAL's comment

i would of bought an expensive car too, car's are awesome

(ID #272704) Posted on 2008/08/21 16:16

reply to Evo_Spec's comment

yikes ^^; while I feel bad for the guy, I feel his pain about everyday stuff getting inflated ^^; I do wish rather than getting depressed, if he really love his GF he may wish to try to find ways to make more $?  While I feel that the parents have their daughter's well being above all, they should not expect her to completely rely on the guy for a living ^^;

(ID #270677) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:06

reply to chun's comment

On the otherhand, the expectation that your daughter will be fully provided for by her husband is still held throughout much of Japan.  

The only part that I found sad was the fact that they laughed at him.  Not completely unexpected, but still sad.

(ID #270697) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:30

reply to tenrou's comment

Ouchie! It seems like an asian thingie ^^;
laughing at him probably seem like the best way to get rid of him ^^;;;;;;;;

(ID #270756) Posted on 2008/08/20 12:20

reply to chun's comment

Many young Japanese woman agree with you chun.  They don't think they should rely completely on a guy for support.  However this is Japan and it's the norm for Japanese woman to quit working once they get married.  Yes, if I was him I would find ways to improve my income.

(ID #270813) Posted on 2008/08/20 12:42

reply to Edward's comment

THen does that mean she only wants him for the money?

(ID #270874) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:10

reply to Guin's comment

I beg to differ, if a woman quits work after getting married it doesn't mean she wants money to live her life comfortably without a care and eat chocolates and rice snacks for the rest of her life. it might mean she wants to take care of him and their children the best she can. being a full time mom isn't an easy job. unfortunately it leaves one with very little time for making money. sure she can work at home, playing stocks or build a online shop. but she won't have the time to actually go out and work like the rest of us. 

(ID #270899) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:24

reply to marvin's comment

yes being a full time housemaker is a life time job ^^; work doesn't end at all with kids esp O_o;

(ID #270934) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:42

reply to chun's comment

lol, I'm sure your hubby really appreciates you. 
hrm. this made me realize I have really told my wife all this. us guys can be real dense sometimes. ^^;

Thanks for reminding us chun.  I get so busy with my responsibilities I don't always stop to think of my wife's hard work a day ahead and some 4,000+ miles away... 

thats s good point. But you're asuming they are planning to have children. Also we don't have enough information , on this particular couple to make any informed judgement.

(ID #270985) Posted on 2008/08/20 14:05

reply to Guin's comment

As Chun mentioned regardless of Children being a keeper of the house is a lifetime job worthy of our appreciation, thus should not be misconstrued as just wanting him for the money. 

however I do appreciate that as you have said, we do not have all the facts but as Danny mentioned the social norm in Japan is that "When a guy goes to meet his GF's parents for the first time, in most cases in Japan it means that he wants to marry their daughter". also from reading his blog we can assume his age is 20 or above (drinking age for Japan is 20, so is marrying age). finally if he didn't have any intention of marrying her in the long run why would he feel so depressed about the parents not wanting him as a son-in-law. 
then again his blog entry might be an excuse to justify dumping his GF.
but all this aside, one thing is for certain, I'm spending far too much time thinking about another person's problem and need to go back to work. LOL 

I beg to defer too...

If I learned my Sociology class correct, many Japanese wives actually do receive their husband's salary directly...and that wives manage household expenses (even there are no kids).

But for the couple's case, the standard of living there with what he is earning is not enough for a family--just enough for a single person. Though that amount would be big enough for a different place/country >.<

However, he might be not justifying himself with the excuse he gave to dump/leave his girlfriend

It's a custom. ^^

(ID #271189) Posted on 2008/08/20 16:12

reply to Mimi's comment

For many Japanese woman -and women elsewhere- they see it their responsibility and duty as the wife to take care of their husband, children and run the household.  This is my wife's view, but I also know as a modern Japanese woman she wants to eventually return to work.  

I see it as my responsibility to find a way to make it happen.  I find it interesting how they Japanese try to blend tradition with the modern world.  It is normal that a young Japanese woman will quit working, have children and run the household.

(ID #271060) Posted on 2008/08/20 14:37

reply to Edward's comment

I agree, it's okay to feel bad about it, but staying depressed would only drive you down into a deeper rut. instead it should make him realize that he should find ways to prove his love and be able to provide a better future for his GF. 

(ID #270887) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:15

reply to marvin's comment

Absolutely despicable, I didn't know that generation of the Japanese were still like that. 

Plus that guy needs to stand up for himself, I suppose love counts for nothing these days. Just Kane.

(ID #270679) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:08

reply to Daemonseed's comment

Be a little more careful when wording your comments and don't stereotype others. Just because one person is like that it doesn't necessarily mean that all Japanese are like that. Also it is more of a culture difference. For example, is everyone who eats beef despicable to Hindus because one of their sacred animals is the cow?

I do agree with you that the guy should stand up more for himself but also he needs to realize that 20,000 isn't enough to support two people on.

(ID #271069) Posted on 2008/08/20 14:43

reply to Plenum's comment

You always see things like this happen in anime, I never would have thought they occur in real life as well x_x

(ID #270680) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:09

reply to Jacob's comment

at least if hes tryin his hardest to earn money, the parents should at least give him a chance, any chance they see him being lazy and using money on his favorite stuff, thats when they should say that 

(ID #270681) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:10

reply to Last{[0]}Raven's comment

That as in "you arent allowed to marry my daughter"

(ID #270682) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:10

reply to Last{[0]}Raven's comment

Poor guy somehow... and Chun said pretty much everything... once again. :P
But does $ really matter more then true love? Mhhhh!
I rather know my daugther being happy and healthy then being with a rich idiot who does horrible things. <.<

(ID #270683) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:10

reply to Tami's comment

ouch that is the worst pride hitter ever. Then again it is understandable that the parents would not want their daughter to be with him, thinking of her future. However, laughing at him about it (if they did) is a bit extreme.

(ID #270684) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:13

reply to Zou's comment

That's horrible, Danny, did you go through something siilar!!!!

(ID #270686) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:20

reply to Syugo's comment

if the money is so important for these parent, i wonder why they didn't ask the salary of the guy directly to their daughter instead of humiliating the poor guy like this. No wonder that the average birth rate are decreasing in japan when you see story like that 

(ID #270698) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:30

reply to Louki's comment

Reality bites... really hard ! X'D

So her parents turn him down, get depressed, and writes about it... i pity him. 

but he shoul'da bite back at her parents, saying "to the darkest pits of Tartarus you go ! i love her and to me, money isn't everything..."

IT may sound cliché, but he gotta stand up for himself (we'll all go through that situation someday). Happens to every guy or girl, whatever place or culture. Fight for your love or die (in shame) in the attempt.

Chill out, think of impressing them, or just persist, is the advice i'd give him. Best of luck to him & he better work that problem out soon... or else he'll end up a hikikomori. X'D

(ID #270699) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:31

reply to AnimeRookie's comment

At the first thought I really feel bad for the guy, but thinking about it I can kind of see why the parents turned him down.  They just want their daughter to be in good hands.  
That being sad it was a bit harsh to laugh at him...I really hope things would be ok later.  
I would hope a relationship would not end due to a simple money issue.  

(ID #270703) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:37

reply to Kairu's comment

Elope

(ID #270705) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:41

reply to Wynn's comment

Well, with how prices are going up these days and the fact that he's in living Japan where people say is one of the most expensive countries to live in, I wouldn't be surprised if his GF's parents turn him down after hearing the amount he earns.

He should try and get a better job. That is, if he really does love the girl. Also, the girl should convince her parents that she truly does love the guy and that she would assist each other financially when they get married. I mean c'mon, that's what REAL love is. Then again, REAL love is RARE nowadays -_-

(ID #270706) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:41

reply to Sabekuji Kaneda's comment

man that's tough.
but love conquers all! ....most of the time

(ID #270710) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:44

reply to suneo's comment

Just hope that he doesn't go on a killing spree

(ID #270711) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:47

reply to hibiki32's comment

LOL I thought of that too...

"Dare mo ii..."*stab stab stab*

(ID #270726) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:58

reply to Tiny Red Man's comment

So long as she is happy being with him and him her, then they should not worry about what their parents think if money is all they think of when wanting their offspring to marry.

(ID #270717) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:55

reply to Malo's comment

Funny they have the nerve to ask that.  Here in the US it's frowned upon if you ask someone how much they make a year, it's not polite behavior.  I'd be pissed if this happened to me. 

(ID #270718) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:55

reply to BandAiD's comment

Well in Japan they also find it perfectly fine to say "My you got fat!" so...

(ID #270951) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:49

reply to tammie86's comment

If the girl looks like the pictured Sairenji Haruna here, then it is definitly not good enough.

(ID #270720) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:56

reply to sharky's comment

Thats harsh. Of course he shouldn't break up with her because of her snotty parents. If they really love each other then I'm sure they will both find a way to make due. If they both work they can support each other, and thats really what marriage should be about. Loving each other to the point where you would willingly make sacrifices to support the one you love the most.

(ID #270727) Posted on 2008/08/20 11:59

reply to AlikaMorein's comment

Here's another idea: Maybe his girlfriend should split up with her parents because they are f*cking assholes.

(ID #270752) Posted on 2008/08/20 12:18

reply to XSportSeeker's comment

Poor chap. I can understand where the parents are coming from though, since I've been subjected to that condescending attitude before ;-;

(ID #270781) Posted on 2008/08/20 12:31

reply to Shin's comment

I can understand the parents reacting the way they did, though it could and should have been handled differently.  They shouldn't have laughed at him, and they should have asked what kind of plans he has for the future.  It takes most people quite a long time to get on their feet and make the money that they want to make.  If they love each other then that should be just fine, but at the same time they BOTH need to consider living costs and how much money they are making.  Living without money is extremely hard and leads to unhappy relationships, because it makes individuals unhappy.

Personally if I were him I would have told them about plans I have for the future and I wouldn't break up with her.  But then again, I don't know if I would rush marriage unless I was financially secure.  I would want to give my wife the kind of wedding she wants, and that can, at times, mean a significant amount of money.

(ID #270782) Posted on 2008/08/20 12:31

reply to wickedclown's comment

How about if he still persevere! HE LOVED THE GIRL! he should show his GF's parents a thing or two. But mainly, he should first say "I'm not gonna marry your daughter yet. I just want to see you folks. And as for marrying her, we still have to plan things."
And since they said to him that he ain't fit enough, Take it as a challenge. Leaving your GF because of such reasons is a big mistake he's gonna regret. It might be just a big test.

(ID #270799) Posted on 2008/08/20 12:37

reply to noob's comment

is that 2600000 yen his monthly or yearly package. even if its a yearly one he's getting about 60% more than me. That means i have no chance of getting a japanese gf or marrying a japanese girl orz. Dont tell me that inflation is so high that this huge amount of cash is insufficient to meet two peoples requirement. what is the average annual income in japan?

(ID #270800) Posted on 2008/08/20 12:37

reply to 6pack's comment

Erm, I don't mean to insult in any way at all, but that is an extremely small amount of money.  As Danny said, it's about equivalent to 23,691 USD, which is just barely above poverty level in the US for a family of 4, 2 adults and 2 children.  I've hear that Japan is more expensive of a country than the US is.  For two people to live on that... it would be an extremely modest living, so much so that it would almost border on poverty.

(ID #271078) Posted on 2008/08/20 14:47

reply to wickedclown's comment

I'm sorry to say, but someone with $25K a year has no business getting married, even if the other partner can make another $25K.  I make multiple fold of that amount, and I still dont dare to get married.  That's life, just deal with it.  

$25K in Japan is lunatic.  

(ID #271237) Posted on 2008/08/20 17:05

reply to Leshante's comment

that means people in india are being underpaid by a lot @#!! 25k is a hell of lot of money here, that just a few people like managers get that much amount of money. the rest live under about 15k usd per yr O^O. that means we are waaaaaaaaay under the povert line +_+

Looking on the bright side he should elope with his gf and come to india. then he would be among the rich ppl in our country.

(ID #271447) Posted on 2008/08/20 20:05

reply to 6pack's comment

 Sure they do! I could think of a lot of hypothetical situations where a couple making 50k could get married. EX: They receive a house from one of their 2 parents and it is alrdy paid for with land. They now only have a few small bills to manage! See that would work fine!

(ID #271779) Posted on 2008/08/21 02:33

reply to Emperor's Hand's comment

It would work, but on the other hand, they wouldn't be able to have a whole lot in the way of material possessions, they wouldn't be able to take long, expensive vacations.  Now, while that isn't necessary, it's VERY nice to have, and it makes people happier.  The happier people in a relationship are the better the relationship *can* be.

(ID #272386) Posted on 2008/08/21 12:37

reply to wickedclown's comment

The guy shouldn't get be too effected to the words that his GF's parents said and show to them that he can support and provide for her GF ^^

Love conquers all =3 

(ID #270832) Posted on 2008/08/20 12:51

reply to Henry's comment

a bit unrelated, but I've always wanted to ask this to a true blue pinoy, but is it true that it is common place in the Philippines that when a girl gets married. the girls family would live in their home and somehow the guys end up providing for the girl's family as well. It seems like a very common scenario in Philippine movies and tv, but never actually seen it in real life.

(ID #270931) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:41

reply to marvin's comment

yes it is very true. ;)

(ID #271612) Posted on 2008/08/20 23:49

reply to retsuya's comment

maybe if the parents didn't own a house yes. another factor that adds to the whole thing is that Filipinos don't like sending their folks to old folks' homes (which there aren't really a lot of in the first place).

(ID #272372) Posted on 2008/08/21 12:23

reply to necrophadian's comment

Pshh too bad for him! He really should make more if he's gonna support him and his girl. My dad made twice as much as him and that still wasn't enough so he had to get a better job in order to marry my mom and move to America. 

(ID #270837) Posted on 2008/08/20 12:54

reply to Mimi's comment

He should have left for america on his own and made even more. 
I would never do settle for this bull crap. I always believe the gf/bf belongs to thier parents before she/he gets married.

(ID #270884) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:13

reply to xAL's comment

*Unzip

*Putting the dolphin on the table

And now ? Am i still not good enough ?

(ID #270859) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:05

reply to Louki's comment

a power move if i ever heard of one.  i like this response the best.

(ID #270875) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:10

reply to vegas's comment

*swish* *swish*
the katana moves quick as lightning and severes the dolphin into a hundred pieces
Gf's Dad: That's what i say.

(ID #271453) Posted on 2008/08/20 20:08

reply to 6pack's comment

dolphin sashimi? LOL

(ID #272030) Posted on 2008/08/21 06:25

reply to chun's comment

Now the guy doesn't have the girl and his dolphin...

(ID #274497) Posted on 2008/08/22 22:35

reply to lostandfound's comment

thats like a slap in the face... but like malo said before, as long as the misses-to-be is happy & satisfied and the guy is making a commitment to the relationship, i think everything should be fine with or without her parents. that way, after 10 years or so, hopefully they could go back to her parents and rub it in their faces about how well they turned out to be. 

(ID #270862) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:05

reply to Holicuser4u's comment

Anyone else have this experience?  I mean just meeting the parents is a big deal.  Worse than any job interview I can remember.  My gf at the time did a great job of hyping me up,  and the important thing was that we were happy together.  Unfortunately for his case the receiving parents looked at it at a financial/business view.  Thats THEIR loss.
I wish him my best and I hope it motivates him for the right reasons.  the motivation to prove someone wrong only lasts for so long,  its the motivation to prove yourself wrong that will stay with one forever.  
You only need to do it once and you'll wonder why you didn't do it any sooner.  I wish the best for this guy,  he alone will figure out what to do.  In any case,  I say listen to what everyone has to say about it,  and throw it all out the window.  He can only grow stronger from this experience.

(ID #270891) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:17

reply to vegas's comment

They're selling their daughters not marrying them. 

People are only poor when they have no loved ones.

(ID #270895) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:20

reply to leefe's comment

If Ranma 1/2, taught us anything it's to elope to China, and UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie, To LOVE-Ru, Urusei Yatsura and many other taught us anything it's to run away from home!!!

(ID #270933) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:42

reply to Syugo's comment

i wonder if the guy really inteded to ask for the girls hand in marriage??? I mean we are asuming that was his intention? But... what if he was just there to meet them out of courtesy? I say this because it sounds like the guy and girl had not discussed her parents before the meeting. (STRIKE ONE : communication problems) If they had gotten to know each other better before hand , he would have been  prepared for their attitudes. Remembe we also don't know how old they are (the couple) or how long have they been in their relationship. It sounds to me like they were movin to fast. (STRIKE TWO : speed lovin ) I mean the guy sounds like a kid that either is still in college or doesnt have enough education/life experiece. (STRIKE THREE : dang youngens )

In the end , i think he should just  get over it.

(ID #270938) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:44

reply to Guin's comment

If she does not work, that isn't very much...

(ID #270939) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:45

reply to tammie86's comment

That's sad. But still, the man should not lose hope. If he really loves the woman, he must swallow his pride for now and try hard to find a solution for his problem.

(ID #270955) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:51

reply to daichouginga's comment

Oh boy, this reminds me of the first time I met my wife's parents.  Meeting my father in law the first time and language. ^o^  Nervous does not describe how I felt. ^o^

I'm sure the parents don't feel he makes enough money to marry their daughter.  Maybe they also want to see how committed he is to marrying their daughter.  Laughing at him want to see if that will motivate him to step up to the challenge.

I agree with how the parents feel but not the laughing at part.  They need to look out for their daughter and it wouldn't be right to give their blessing to a marriage that might not work.

(ID #270963) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:54

reply to Edward's comment

yikes...i'm kinda sadden from this but from the parent's perspective it is to their best interest that their daughter is well taken care of in the future...still sad tho

(ID #270975) Posted on 2008/08/20 13:59

reply to Gundam00's comment

Sad but I understand that her parents want to make sure that their daughters are well taken care of.

(ID #270986) Posted on 2008/08/20 14:05

reply to Saku's comment

2,600,000 a year? or a month?~
also
wut kinda job would give u this much~

(ID #271084) Posted on 2008/08/20 14:50

reply to シャキー's comment

That amount should be for a year, right?... and it's not enough? MY GOD! do every Japanese households expect that much?
There are billions of people earning lesser than that amount and they are living happily together. So what is the problem with those parents mentioned? zzz

(ID #271090) Posted on 2008/08/20 14:57

reply to Kyori's comment

That reminds me... 
I need to get serious with my life... (don't buy unnecessary stuffs, for short)
don't want that to happen to me.

(ID #271109) Posted on 2008/08/20 15:15

reply to samejima's comment

The guy shouldn't just bother with the parents.  I mean it's nice that the parents would give their blessings but they don't really need to be a deal breaker IMO.  Its his and her gf's life anyway.  Just ask the gf if she would help him by also earning on her own rather than just supporting both of them by himself.  If not then go find someone else who will, there's a million (even billion?) other girls out there you know.

(ID #271269) Posted on 2008/08/20 17:32

reply to BeLe's comment

So this is the reason why there's a lack of childbirth in Japan?

(ID #271271) Posted on 2008/08/20 17:33

reply to lightningsabre's comment

I understand where the parents are coming from since their just looking out for their daughter's future...but laughing is just mean...Hope that guy finds a way to get through it...

(ID #271280) Posted on 2008/08/20 17:39

reply to silent1134's comment

Poor guy. But if he just gives up, definitely nothing will come of this relationship. If he really likes the girl, he should do his best to prove that money isn't the only quality they should be looking at for their daughter's man.

(ID #271312) Posted on 2008/08/20 17:57

reply to R-1's comment

If I were the parents, instead of just blatantly laughing, ask what field he is in, what his hopes are for his career, any possible further education, etc. I imagine that two people each making that much money a year could live together comfortably, but maybe I have skewed perceptions of how much living costs. 

(ID #271324) Posted on 2008/08/20 18:03

reply to Calan's comment

similar story here...a girl at my relative's church who just graduated as a doctor wanted to marry her bf who was a car mechanic.  Needless to say, the girls' family was not impressed. This was a Christian church too mind yea...whatever happened to the "no judgement" part of church?
Seems like people will say, and do whatever when it comes down to moolah =S

(ID #271327) Posted on 2008/08/20 18:07

reply to euphoria's comment

I know a pastor who had a girlfriend who was the daughter of a rich businessman. when asked how will you provide for my daughter, his answer was, "God will provide". polite enough the father didn't say anything then, but burst into tears as soon as the pastor left the house. 

(ID #271357) Posted on 2008/08/20 18:24

reply to marvin's comment

"Her parents laughed at him and said that he was not good enough for their daughter."

I am not a people person and not good with dealing with relationships (my achilles heel), but that is complete and utter bull. Ask her what she thinks of this and then make a decision- This is why I want a private wedding between me and a certain special other in the future- decisions are made between us and I could do without others opinions of the two of us.

(ID #271329) Posted on 2008/08/20 18:08

reply to -XYZPDQ's comment

I think I might use a tactic in the future where I may blatantly lie about my profession to see what their reaction is- though it should not matter to me if I don't consider their opinion.

(ID #271330) Posted on 2008/08/20 18:09

reply to -XYZPDQ's comment

I feel my grandparents felt like that with my Dad. Heck, my Mom makes more money than my Dad. My Mom has not been the home type since 1988. She went to college and got herself a job and I am currently semi-enjoy it. I need to finish my degree in physics and in the mean time need to get promoted to manager at a local pharmacy. 
My whole life is full of outside the norm I think it is a shame that no one can escape that closed mindedness. If I were in a similar situation I would do like my parents did. Get married in a city hall and wait for the fall out. 
I kinda feel for that guy.

(ID #271337) Posted on 2008/08/20 18:12

reply to NMOtaku's comment

2.6 million yen is a pretty low salary for Japan -- the country's average is 4 million -- and certainly not enough to support a family's costs for rent, food and so on. That kind of money is about what a barista at a coffee shop might make.

While I fully support working wives (I wish mine would work a bit harder) it has to be recognised that due to child-bearing and discrimination, women in Japan as well as the USA and Britain have significant disadvantages of earning potential. In the best case, the husband should be able to support the family by himself, and the wife's income should be for luxuries not necessities. Perhaps one day, womens' contribution to house work and child rearing will be properly recognised (that is, paid) but that day is a long time off.

That said, it was pretty harsh of the parents to scold this lad in front of the daughter. I expect they did it to send a message to him and her.

What the lad needs to do, if he is serious about the girl, is get himself a plan for improving his career potential. Maybe take a degree in evening classes or something like that.

(ID #271350) Posted on 2008/08/20 18:19

reply to Kilkrazy's comment

such prejudice are unavoidable in asian societies. naturally, the parents would ideally want their daughter to be wedded to a dependent spouse. i wouldn't claim to be an expert on romance, but i fervently believe that if they are truly meant for each other, not even their parents can do anything. 

this may sound cliche, but i say the guy oughta take it in his stride. someone else will come along eventually. but hey don't take it from me, take it from the many other bachelors around the world. 

i like to know how's danny's marriage to his wife came about ^^

(ID #271368) Posted on 2008/08/20 18:38

reply to Pyoro's comment

I knew this existed, but that doesn't make it any less harsh. Guess I should just lie about my earnings if I want to marry a Japanese girl. Does this happen often, or are parents becoming a little more open-minded in Japan?

(ID #271375) Posted on 2008/08/20 18:44

reply to Evil King's comment

He should've asked how much her family earns and why did the parents reject him that earns big, most people in this time need money and usually it very hard to earn money, I think the parents just didn't like the person acted, or the guy just overreacted to the situation, if I were that guy I won't be so pissed with that kind of appeal.

(ID #271545) Posted on 2008/08/20 22:19

reply to GiafLop's comment

Thats so mean!!! Evil parents....

(ID #271581) Posted on 2008/08/20 23:09

reply to Meimi132's comment

I can understand the parents view somewhat; they have a great interest in their daughter having a good future. Laughing is quite harsh but, supposing that asking one what their income is normal in Japan... the issue is really 'how they worded their thoughts'. I've met many people who have gotten married without the blessing of the girl's family and it doesn't always work out due to the tension between the parties involved. 
That said, I do feel bad for the guy. Men in conservative societies are the head of the house and as such, providing a salary that seems minor by the parents standards, is a pretty fatal blow to the proposed marriage. 
Not good.

(ID #271616) Posted on 2008/08/20 23:57

reply to suki's comment

I say if they love each other then they should get married anyway. In-laws are always a pain to deal with regardless if you had their approval or not. Or he can sulk around acting depressed getting himself no where.

(ID #271691) Posted on 2008/08/21 01:30

reply to x33b's comment

if that's the case, i will awe her parents with my collection of figures and gundams. that will sure impress them. ('~')

(ID #271703) Posted on 2008/08/21 01:44

reply to gordon's comment

I wonder how the girl felt when they laughed at her boyfriend... Embarasssed? Justified? :/

(ID #271704) Posted on 2008/08/21 01:45

reply to radical anime fan's comment

 Well why don't they take the girl to the guys parents house and have the man's parents ask her how much she makes!!!!  Don't the man's parents have any influence in this matters, shouldn't the woman have to make a good impression and bring in money as well.

  In the US (as i can't comment elsewhere through experience) Woman are very adamant about equality. Many will make more than there husband while he stays at home to raise the children, or both will work and utilize daycare to make up for their lost time. So i think the days and meeting your GF's parents and feeling obligated to perform well and impress them financially should be long over. This set idea of a man providing only and a woman raising kids is an idea  that's a lil arcane these days.

  Anyone can work, or raise kids, or get married, and they can do it anyway they please as long as it makes them happy.

(ID #271790) Posted on 2008/08/21 02:46

reply to Emperor's Hand's comment

It may be custom, but if the boyfriend and the girlfriend really do truly love each other, they should be able to work together and come up with a solution. It could be the girlfriend getting a job and putting off starting a family, it could be the boyfriend getting a higher paying job, or it could be running off and getting married without parental blessing and dealing with all the fallout.

If they do not really truly love each other, then this is the first stumbling block and things will probably get a lot worse if they make it past this one...

The parents laughing I can see as a way to majorly discourage the boyfriend, but I think that there are a lot of other ways to do that without ruining the boyfriends self confidence. Their daughter may just marry him no matter what the parents say or think and laughing at the boyfriend is a great way to get estranged from your daughter...

(ID #271845) Posted on 2008/08/21 03:30

reply to darktek13's comment

Ouch. I can understand the parents wanting to look out for their daughter, but the laughing part seems excessive.

I'd advise the guy if he's in love he should keep a stiff upper lip and presevere, wheter that means trying to find a better job or what not. Being in love and wanting to get married could certainly give me otherwise impossible willpower to accomplish something. 

tldr; Ganbare

(ID #271949) Posted on 2008/08/21 04:59

reply to Quen's comment

my mom earns 2x more then him... ^^ as a Nurse here in Amsterdam, The Netherlands .
but she has to work hard for it tho. 

(ID #272038) Posted on 2008/08/21 06:42

reply to Project One's comment

Is US$23,691 normal in Japan? Coz it's seems really low to me. I have almost double that. =/

(ID #272070) Posted on 2008/08/21 07:26

reply to gurugurutrex's comment

National average annual income in Japan is about 4 million yen, which is about £20,000 or $40,000 dollars.

So yes, it is a pretty low wage he is on.

(ID #272114) Posted on 2008/08/21 08:46

reply to Kilkrazy's comment

^And I'm still below average in my region. =/

(ID #272071) Posted on 2008/08/21 07:27

reply to gurugurutrex's comment

I'm not great with this kind of thing, but the best advice is that it isn't the end of the world. OK, so the situation sucks and it's an upmountain struggle but in that case he could just keep going with the status quo and keep his options open for the future. I used to get worked up over women until I worked that out for myself ^^ off topic, I'm glad I'm earning the equivalent of the 'average' Japanese wage.

(ID #272093) Posted on 2008/08/21 08:29

reply to KyokoHunter's comment

All parents hate and fear their daughters' boyfriends from the moment the midwife says, "Congratulations, it's a girl."

(ID #272118) Posted on 2008/08/21 08:49

reply to Kilkrazy's comment

Well, that sucks.  But I understand the parent's situation since my sister's boyfriend had to go through that as well.  Or I should say brother-in-law.

BTW, I have that doujin.  You have to have a specific fetish in order to enjoy that doujin. ^^;

(ID #272236) Posted on 2008/08/21 10:51

reply to Demacrez's comment

that guy isn't good enough, no balls.

(ID #272384) Posted on 2008/08/21 12:35

reply to Daemon's comment

Run away I say.

(ID #272568) Posted on 2008/08/21 15:13

reply to xAL's comment

Pictures of the GF please, lets see if she's good enough for him.

(ID #273158) Posted on 2008/08/21 23:18

reply to Neil Duckett's comment

Yea, it's not fair that the guy is getting all the flamming!

(ID #274499) Posted on 2008/08/22 22:39

reply to lostandfound's comment

i would ask my gf do u care what your parents say, i can speak from experience meet gf parents was so nervous they knew and all they said was "he a good guy but why did u choose someone 7 years older then u. mom is still trying to over that fact dad well is neutral he didn't really care." could tell how he look like at the facts and meet me didn't care, she didn't care either

(ID #370265) Posted on 2008/11/14 05:22

reply to gve's comment

That was mean of her parents=.=;

(ID #425984) Posted on 2008/12/26 17:54

reply to aprilius20's comment

man thats hard for him, I can feel his pain...

(ID #599887) Posted on 2009/05/11 09:51

reply to yamada's comment