Japanese Culture
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95)
Wed 2007/10/24 22:24
Rather than somebody getting the whole bill, Japanese people tend to pay for what they had. This is known as Warikan [割り勘].
If you are in Japan with friends at a restaurant, when you approach the till, more often than not, you will be asked "Betsu Betsu desuka?" which means "will you be paying separately?" or they may ask in a different way - "Go Issho desuka?" which means "are you paying all together?"
In the UK or US, I was accustomed to either party paying for the whole meal. While I think this is fine, I do come across people who *never* want to pay for the meal.
What do you usually do/prefer?
BTW, this picture of a till was taken last Sunday at a seafood place in Chiba by the beach.
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Wed 10/24 11:31 comments (59)
Student
Well, taking turns paying for meals is what I prefer, but then there are those people that just never get around to treat you to dinner or something and it just makes me kinda bummed out sometimes...
(ID #60808) Posted on 2007/10/24 22:29
student
same here; in my group of close friends, we take turns in paying for the dinner:)
(ID #325159) Posted on 2008/10/07 01:19
Had a friend who wouldn't pay for meals...so, one day, after the meal, everyone else got up together and left him with the check...he got the hint after that... ^^;
(ID #325347) Posted on 2008/10/07 04:26
Ive had too many fiddly experiences trying to split a total bill, especially when its not itemised on the reciept, and one person has a super expensive meal. I always prefer to pay individually, but most places would prefer not to do that - especially if youre in a huge group...
(ID #60809) Posted on 2007/10/24 22:30
Mandalorian in training + Otaku...
I prefer to split the bill...easier that way.
(ID #60812) Posted on 2007/10/24 22:42
club sensei / student
It's easier than keeping track of who hasn't paid for the meal yet, but if you don't let the waiter/tress know before hand it'll take longer to find out who ordered what and actually split it. Both have Pros and Cons
(ID #325251) Posted on 2008/10/07 02:35
For me, it's a variable. I have paid separately before. I like doing that as it relieves guilt from all involved. Not that taking turns paying doesn't, but I've been on the "paid for" side of things, my guilt complex is enormous.
(ID #60814) Posted on 2007/10/24 23:04
i dont really know myself umm i tend to pay for the whole party everytime i go anywhere (im extremely gullible and well just have a tendancy to do this type of thing almost habit lol) :P i usually am the first to pay for the bill and then everyone else starts to be nice all of a sudden and i end up getting all free meals from then on out... weird but then again i do alot of nice things and then people do alot of nice things for me.... i have this habit of opening doors for people (lots and lots of people like spend 10 min holding a door for an amazingly long line) anyway now i walk around.... dontgit i got off topic again lol i have a horrible habit of starting to ramble and well yu get the idea
(ID #60815) Posted on 2007/10/24 23:04
Physics Student
Normally, we pay our own unless it is a special occasion like a birthday (where the birthday-ee pays for everything =P )
(ID #60816) Posted on 2007/10/24 23:06
Professional Student
I go to dinner with my friends all the time, and I much prefer everyone chipping in for one bill. I find it easier that way.
(ID #60818) Posted on 2007/10/24 23:08
hmmm....It is a norm here for those ppl that go out with frens especially student to paid their own bill! Onli if u bring ur GirlFriend or ur discussing a business with some ppl! Then onli we paid all!
(ID #60831) Posted on 2007/10/24 23:36
Me and my friends pay separately when we go out to eat. We do that for everything ^^.
(ID #60835) Posted on 2007/10/24 23:57
There isn't a rule or norm about that here in Brazil... but usually, when you go out with friends, people pay separately. Sometimes when you get invited by someone's family, and you're the only person not from the family, they'll pay the tab for you. On someone's birthday, it's on his/her bill, though this is not that much common anymore. Sometimes people will also add everything up and split equally, just to make things easier.
(ID #60840) Posted on 2007/10/25 00:18
anime/cosplay events organizer
it depends on the occasion and to the group but most of the time we pay separately ^__^
(ID #60842) Posted on 2007/10/25 00:25
VF-25 Pilot. Universariate Scholar.
when me and my friends go out one of us foots the bill but we will pay for what we had to that person later.
(ID #60847) Posted on 2007/10/25 00:55
Here, everyone goes dutch, unless you're with really close friends or relatives.
(ID #60849) Posted on 2007/10/25 01:12
Normally it's 'betsu betsu ni' over here, to sit around and wait for someone to pay for your meal would be considered rude. Unless if a guy or gal insist to pay for everyone.
(ID #60853) Posted on 2007/10/25 01:39
with my friends, we usually take turns to pick the tab
(ID #60855) Posted on 2007/10/25 01:43
I prefer everyone to pay separately. Of course when every person has to pay for his/her part, it makes it a bit less convivial and more on the money-conscious side (I pay this, you pay that... This is mine, this is yours, etc.)? Separate bills seem to be the ideal to me. Thus I like it much better than sharing the bill. Why is that? Because if you have inconsiderate guests, they may eat in excess and you practically end paying more of their part. This unless you have foreign family or friends and that it's a really formal event (like them visiting you, etc.) Cold and rational I am, as always.
(ID #60857) Posted on 2007/10/25 01:51
*Seem ideal to me And I forgot to say it depends on culture too. It is funny to see that in the Chinese culture, guests tend to fight to pay the bill. This is something that still surprises me each time I see it. Anyway, I don't eat outside except on rare occasions, so it's not really something I should be worried about (still I am aware of those concepts)
(ID #60859) Posted on 2007/10/25 01:56
Betsu betsu for me
(ID #60860) Posted on 2007/10/25 02:02
Seperately ftw! Unless of course you're on a date.
(ID #60862) Posted on 2007/10/25 02:12
Anime Store Owner, artist, Web master
I guess since I make money from my own company instead of begging for it from a boss, I tend to pay the bill ~_~
(ID #60867) Posted on 2007/10/25 02:27
When with my family, we pay the whole thing. With my friends, it's separate. Guess it's cause our family "shares" the money, and my friends and I obviously don't.
(ID #60874) Posted on 2007/10/25 03:09
Troubleshooter, Universal Exports
At one time I always liked everyone paying for their own. Unless it was a special occasion or such, then I take care of the bill. Now, it depends on who I'm with. I have a couple of colleagues that I often go out with and we take turns picking up the bill. I usually pay for my boss and I, even thought she makes more than I do. ^^; Of course I still pay for special occasions and such. Thinking about it now, I still like the everyone pay for their own meal. Usually it's more fun since the group loses the free loaders and boring people. Interesting how the boring people never want to pay the bill...
(ID #60875) Posted on 2007/10/25 03:11
宅男 Otaku/ 工程师 Engineer
depends on where my friends and i dine. if we dine in a restaurant, one of us (usually the host) will pay first. after we left, we will divide the bill among ourselves and pay back the host. if we dine at a food court, we will buy our food individually ourselves.
(ID #60879) Posted on 2007/10/25 04:15
See, I really dont care. If I am out with friends, I will just pick up the bill and start to pay. People generally throw some money in if they think they should, and sometimes I accept that. Now, if you are out with a woman, I was raised (Grandfather) that you ALWAYS pay for the bill. My girlfriend fights me all the time on this, so we came up with a cool game for it. It was that or throw money at the waiters when they got into range.
(ID #60887) Posted on 2007/10/25 05:05
Paying separately is more convenient, but is a nice feeling when you're treated, or you treat someone, you know? For Chinese, its considered rude if you're not verbally and physically fighting to pay the bill and attempting to stuff bank notes into the other person's pockets-- or forcing it into their children's hands.
(ID #60888) Posted on 2007/10/25 05:10
If I got out eating with friends, I'll always prefer paying separately when ever possible. I just dislike the process of sorting out who is paying who, how much is each person going to have to pay, and etc....
(ID #60889) Posted on 2007/10/25 05:11
Web Design & Development
I'm that freeloader that everyone hates. :P
(ID #60897) Posted on 2007/10/25 05:51
CyruzDraxs, I hate you. Lol... no, seriously.... maybe.
(ID #60900) Posted on 2007/10/25 05:59
When i got out to dinner with my friends, we actually fight over the bill. Fight over who gets to pay it...because all of us want to pay. ^_^ I only go to dinner with my best friends, so i don't mind paying for them and vice versa
(ID #60903) Posted on 2007/10/25 06:12
As people have said before, Chinese people fight to pay the bill quite often. One time one of my aunts secretly when up and told a waitress that another guest (forget who) often paid with counterfeit money. The guest was wondering why the waiter insisted on the aunt paying for it. He wasn't too happy about the explanation lol. A couple times people go up to pay for the group before they come with the bill. I think it is just considered polite to offer to pay for the bill, and when like old friends meet again they feel better if they pay. Never seen people fight so much over paying the bill in the US.
(ID #60904) Posted on 2007/10/25 06:16
Fighting over the tab was pretty fun. At least until the guys started getting too tipsy and wanted to duke it out.
(ID #325834) Posted on 2008/10/07 13:01
I usually split the bill(I eat to much). Unless its a date, then i pay all.
(ID #60911) Posted on 2007/10/25 07:40
Ando in California, USA
Me and my friends pay separately. I pay for my meal, its tax, plus tip and we always end up short...
(ID #60913) Posted on 2007/10/25 07:46
usually pay seperately, except on my birthday, i rarely eat with my friend. kinda find alone is more convenient when walking outside. weird me -_-
(ID #60915) Posted on 2007/10/25 08:08
i prefer party paying rotation when i got the money..but sometime if ur frens want to pay for it..it is more than welcome.. ;-P but its better with party paying, as long as the same party members are in it...
(ID #60917) Posted on 2007/10/25 09:13
Policy & Research Officer
Yeah "Betsu betsu ni onegaishimasu" was one of the few first phrases I learnt when I was taking Japanese classes. During that time I was like this is really interesting that when paying you can ask for separate bills
(ID #60919) Posted on 2007/10/25 10:00
Pre-Enlisted NS(Army)-men
One lesson I learned from paying for everyone, it may burn a huge hole in your wallet. It'll have to depend on the kind occasion tho.
(ID #60923) Posted on 2007/10/25 10:30
Service desk support
same as 0shift, I split the bill with my mates when we go out. If it's a date, then etiquette dictates that I will pay for the lot.
(ID #60929) Posted on 2007/10/25 11:10
griever in Japan
Usually separate. If it's a special occasion or something small, like coffee, I prefer a single bill. For me, it doesn't make sense to fight over the small things.
(ID #60943) Posted on 2007/10/25 12:34
i like the idea... in singapore esp .. when we are still students. we will split it up but after 1 person pays the full bill and the rest return it to him... there are many problems this way like the person paying first lose money as the price in the menu does not include GST and sevice charge. which will go up to 17%.
(ID #60950) Posted on 2007/10/25 13:54
When me and my friends go out we usually just pay together by splitting up the total between us, but thats aslong as we are having buffet. If someone wants to eat seperately then they can but they will have to pay for their own food. It works out fairly in the end.
(ID #60954) Posted on 2007/10/25 14:21
Always pay seperately.... but sometime... which happens quite often with some of my coworker, when we go to lunch, ALWAYS short on the amount... ALWAYS paid their meal without including the tax and tips... grrrr..... @_@
(ID #60968) Posted on 2007/10/25 17:04
.NET/Web Developer
Here it's usually just one bill for the entire table but we always pay for what we had separately and someone just collects it. Troublesome for the one who collects our payment though since he/she will be dealing with the problem of giving change to each one of us. ^^
(ID #60981) Posted on 2007/10/25 20:09
College Student - BiNus University
In here, we stay in flats. I always go eat with my flat friends every time, so we split the bill, and the restaurant usually wont mind if we pay the bill separately and give change to each person ^^
(ID #61021) Posted on 2007/10/26 00:32
If its a daily thing like lunch with colleagues, usually we'd split the bill equally regardless of what we eat. If its an evening out with friends, usually we "go Dutch" that is to pay for what you eat with added tax/tips to the amount. If its a date with a hot girl, then of course you'd treat her. ;)
(ID #61027) Posted on 2007/10/26 01:23
QA Engineer, Postgraduate Student
Here in Dublin, it's exactly the same. Most places ask you "Pay together or separate?" Some restaurants don't do that with larger parties, say more than 4 people or something. If they do, it's generally written somewhere visible on the menu.
(ID #61055) Posted on 2007/10/26 10:25
Just another guy in US of A
I've been in the states for over 15 years. It is most definitely more common for friends to split the bill instead of having a person to pay for the whole thing and expect the others to pick up the bill the next time. So, I'm not sure the "in the UK or US" thing came from.
(ID #61173) Posted on 2007/10/27 19:31
i would normally pay in just one bill to avoid the mess it might caused during the process..
(ID #61262) Posted on 2007/10/28 14:10
I would prefer to pay separate unless its with close friends. It usually very troublesome to collect back the $$ and i have met people who just act dumb.
(ID #264739) Posted on 2008/08/13 21:40
Working Otaku mom
I like paying seperately myself unless the person I am with insists on going half and half or something like that, I think it's more fair to all parties involved to pay seperately because then you only pay for what you bought.:D Btw Danny, glad to see you feeling a bit better.:D
(ID #264999) Posted on 2008/08/14 05:07
Half and half. Sometimes it's nice when another person treats you, but I would never take advantage of that. Who the heck is such a shameless cheap skate who won't even pay for the food they put in their mouth?
(ID #306713) Posted on 2008/09/19 13:39
just another something else
if we cant split the bill, we usually let someone pay for it and afterwards we'll pay him what we owe him. (anyone will volunteer for it, cause we always pay for it)
(ID #325097) Posted on 2008/10/07 00:41
Yeah, cheap dead-beats are never fun. I don't mind being treated and on occasion I'll cover someone's meal just because. But I generally prefer to pay separately.
(ID #325098) Posted on 2008/10/07 00:41
It all depends who I'm with. Sometimes if I'm not paying for the whole bill, I'll leave the tip.
(ID #325116) Posted on 2008/10/07 00:51
In Hong kong everybody always want to pay the bill, it was ill mannered if you dont want to pay i think. But it depends on the people you are eating with, if they are close friends I would pay the bill.
(ID #325156) Posted on 2008/10/07 01:17
Otaku/Student of University of Western Ontario
When my friends and I go somewhere it's either we split or some cheapskate "forgets" to bring money and the rest ends up having to cough up extra. When a girl is with us the guys just pay extra to cover for the girl. Cases where one person pays for the rest always ends up with me paying, gah.
(ID #325157) Posted on 2008/10/07 01:18
I'm not earning my own money ^^ Still a secondary student. So I don't have lots of money to spend and that means I have to SAVE to buy stuff I want. That's probably why I usually pay separately when I eat out with my friends. Even if I start to work, I might just learn the value of hard-earned money more... and even refrain from wasting money eating out lol.
(ID #325198) Posted on 2008/10/07 01:39
Otaku/Student of University of Western Ontario
Trust me, not going to happen. You'd just realize that you'll now be having disposable income for otaku goods.
(ID #325247) Posted on 2008/10/07 02:29
auroragb (Registered on 2008/09/30 00:10)
I think that it's much more of an issue in Japan because there are more social situations where one would have to eat with people they're not familiar with. Afterwork social obligations (drinks, karaoke, repeat...), Go-kon, etc dominate J-social compared to western people tend to socialize mostly with their friends.
(ID #325226) Posted on 2008/10/07 02:05
Well... in the US, if there is a visitor (or if you are meeting a friend you haven't seen in a good while) there is a very good chance someone w